Response to Chris:
Chris,
You know what's even funnier-is that women even tend to control the opportunity to cook or bake even if a guy can do it! It's like we enjoy these little stereotypes we are stuck in and we just can't find a way out. I think its great you offered to do the non-conventional thing and I think especially if you work with older women who may be more old school-your act was probably pretty shocking. You seem to have gained alot from this class so keep on pushing people to see beyond the box. After all what's the point of learning if you can't share your knowledge!
Good luck to you!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Final Blog
So this week I was shopping in Toys R Us when I noticed something very interesting. There is a video game line for Nintendo DS that is targeted for little girls-its called Imagine That or Imagine Me. Girls get to play having a life of certain professions- and which ones do you think they had for girls?? School teacher, baby sitter, FASHION DESIGNER, and family doctor. Ok I'll give the doctor one kudos but I'm sure it's not the top seller. Lets instead encourage little girls to be caregivers or to use their talents designing clothes. Forget the millions of other professions women have-corporate CEO, government representatives, labor worker, etc etc. Those ones are no fun so we shouldn't design a video game to encourage those kinds of professions. This really ticked me off and I think it's sad how we limit little girls in every possible way. I hope someone out there has seen other professions offered by this game so I can sleep at night!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Week 5 Responses
Response to Neeru:
It's funny because when your dealing with little girls, things that make them more like women are deemed acceptable. Like using words like sexy or babe. Or skinny jeans for 7 year olds. Halter tops for toddlers. Its shameful how we encourage little girls-or even babies in this case-to be viewed and treated as women already. That explains why girls have such a hard time in adolescents! As far as the twins getting dressed alike-well its both lazy and superficial. What a way to limit your children right! If mommy's lucky they'll even think alike and she can limit her arguments. I recently substituted in a class where the twin boys were dressed alike and I felt so bad for them- they were both unique and special in their own way and they deserved to be able to show that. Instead they were grouped together on numerous occasions because teachers can't help it-when they already look alike and dress alike its hard to differentiate. It makes me sad!
Response to Mario's comment:
Mario,
In response to your question- it is a fair one. But I have to wonder, if men AND women are drafted for the war who will be home taking care of the economy, jobs, and our children? I also think physically you'd have a lot more women that don't qualify for the war, so now you have a bunch of people being drafted that basically have to be weeded through even harder than the other group. Am I suggesting women are less capable- overall I'd say yes. Just like our book says-women are nurturers and communicators. Where is there room for that in war? It takes a special kind of women to serve in war and I think drafting would just make it harder to find them.
It's funny because when your dealing with little girls, things that make them more like women are deemed acceptable. Like using words like sexy or babe. Or skinny jeans for 7 year olds. Halter tops for toddlers. Its shameful how we encourage little girls-or even babies in this case-to be viewed and treated as women already. That explains why girls have such a hard time in adolescents! As far as the twins getting dressed alike-well its both lazy and superficial. What a way to limit your children right! If mommy's lucky they'll even think alike and she can limit her arguments. I recently substituted in a class where the twin boys were dressed alike and I felt so bad for them- they were both unique and special in their own way and they deserved to be able to show that. Instead they were grouped together on numerous occasions because teachers can't help it-when they already look alike and dress alike its hard to differentiate. It makes me sad!
Response to Mario's comment:
Mario,
In response to your question- it is a fair one. But I have to wonder, if men AND women are drafted for the war who will be home taking care of the economy, jobs, and our children? I also think physically you'd have a lot more women that don't qualify for the war, so now you have a bunch of people being drafted that basically have to be weeded through even harder than the other group. Am I suggesting women are less capable- overall I'd say yes. Just like our book says-women are nurturers and communicators. Where is there room for that in war? It takes a special kind of women to serve in war and I think drafting would just make it harder to find them.
Week 5
So in my other class, War and Peace in Vietnam, we got to watch Born on the 4th of July for a little added insight. One theme that was very strong in the film was this idea that-at the time-in order to become a man, one must fight in a war. It was instilled in boys so much that play time usually included war play. And as high-schoolers the film portrays a drill sergeant type coach who calls the boys "ladies" to get them to work harder. Their entire manliness depended on them enlisting and it made we wonder something along with this weeks theme of a men's movement-are men in our generation "lost" so to speak because they don't have that one monumental event that passes them into manhood? Without wars to fight and prove your self worth with, what else do they have? I mean granted we have a war now for people to enlist in, but this isn't a Ra!Ra! war like World War II or Vietnam. Most people don't even care let alone agree with this war. But our grandfathers and some of our fathers faught for our country and became men-usually at the ripe age of 18 or 19-in doing so. Now adays you've got 30 years old men living at home with mommy and daddy. Why has this happened? What has society done to cause men to loose sight of that passage into manhood? What can even be done about it? I think the lack of answers explains why men feel a need for a "movement." They blend into society now. They have no major responsibility to society as a whole. There is no sense of community. It actually makes me glad I am not a man! Wow...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Week 4 comments
Response to Ashley:
John and Kate Plus 8 is NOTORIOUS for making men look like helpless bums. From Kate's side remarks during interviews to the skewed images you see of John doing nothing. It really is very backwards in that sense. You would think that a wholesome family show like that would make a better effort to show things for how they really are-crazy and hectic for everyone. If you ever catch an episode where they do show John spending time with the family, it's a beautiful thing. He is very capable of getting the kids dressed, feeding them, even putting them to bed, and things in the house still function safely and normally. It's crazy how tv really keeps John in the underdog light!
Response to Neeru:
Neeru, Do you feel it would have been possible to clarify your position in the relationship and then maintain a friendship? It seems to me your right, no matter what the issue will come up. I just believe that people can move on from those feelings and sustain meaningful friendships with boundaries. I speak from my own experience so I partial. And I'm like Chris where I've had my friendships since I was young, so maybe he's right-maybe developing them at a young age makes them less vulnerable to sexuality issues. I just feel like your missing out on a very insightful and meaningful experience by not having male friends. Don't give up-you'll meet someone who will be mature enough to handle your friendship in a strictly platonic manner!
Response to Ilia:
Ilia,
I think you are so right when you touched on the fact that self esteem plays a major role in what clouds your judgment. The thing with me, and maybe all females who knows-is the level of honesty that exists in a relationship. If my boyfriend has female friends that he hasn't said one word to me about-then I think something is funny. If someone is really your friend wouldn't they come up in conversation with your significant other? Maybe I'm wrong... but if he's open with me about his friendships, then I have no reason to think it's anything else. As a woman I do worry that their friendships will reach that point where sex may come up. But I have to have faith that my boyfriend will make his position clear and that they can carry on a friendship. What do yo do when people don't get the hint though? Friendships can go wrong and before you know it you could have a stalker... maybe a little extreme but you never know!
John and Kate Plus 8 is NOTORIOUS for making men look like helpless bums. From Kate's side remarks during interviews to the skewed images you see of John doing nothing. It really is very backwards in that sense. You would think that a wholesome family show like that would make a better effort to show things for how they really are-crazy and hectic for everyone. If you ever catch an episode where they do show John spending time with the family, it's a beautiful thing. He is very capable of getting the kids dressed, feeding them, even putting them to bed, and things in the house still function safely and normally. It's crazy how tv really keeps John in the underdog light!
Response to Neeru:
Neeru, Do you feel it would have been possible to clarify your position in the relationship and then maintain a friendship? It seems to me your right, no matter what the issue will come up. I just believe that people can move on from those feelings and sustain meaningful friendships with boundaries. I speak from my own experience so I partial. And I'm like Chris where I've had my friendships since I was young, so maybe he's right-maybe developing them at a young age makes them less vulnerable to sexuality issues. I just feel like your missing out on a very insightful and meaningful experience by not having male friends. Don't give up-you'll meet someone who will be mature enough to handle your friendship in a strictly platonic manner!
Response to Ilia:
Ilia,
I think you are so right when you touched on the fact that self esteem plays a major role in what clouds your judgment. The thing with me, and maybe all females who knows-is the level of honesty that exists in a relationship. If my boyfriend has female friends that he hasn't said one word to me about-then I think something is funny. If someone is really your friend wouldn't they come up in conversation with your significant other? Maybe I'm wrong... but if he's open with me about his friendships, then I have no reason to think it's anything else. As a woman I do worry that their friendships will reach that point where sex may come up. But I have to have faith that my boyfriend will make his position clear and that they can carry on a friendship. What do yo do when people don't get the hint though? Friendships can go wrong and before you know it you could have a stalker... maybe a little extreme but you never know!
Week 4- Men and Women
This week my boyfriend and I got into a heated discussion about whether or not men and women can be just friends. I was seeking his opinion as I did my discussion board for the week and he helped me clarify my point of view. Initially I felt that no, men and women cannot be just friends because sex always comes up. If sex comes up at all, how can they ever be just friends. But he felt that once the issue is addressed and dealt with, as in once one person makes it clear to the other person that they are not interested, that they can continue a friendship. But my question was that even if the issue comes up even once, that it proves men and women cannot be just friends. My male friends have been around for over 15 years, but I'd be lieing if I denied that once in our youth having relationships wasn't addressed. So can men and women be just friends without the issue of sex or relationships coming up even once? The answer in my opinion is no. I feel that the friendship can exist after the issue is addressed, but it always always comes up at least once. Men and women naturally feel closer to each other in friendships and its only natural to want that person to be your mate, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Week 3 comments
Shaina, I feel your pain! It's very hard in this world we live in to understand if we as women are being caretakers because we throughly enjoy the rewarding ecperience of taking care of family, or because society has put this idea in our head that this is where we should be. It's confusing at times to be yourself if that mean helping and taking care of others yet still feel liberated and independent.It's like the two things can't exist together. This has been an ongoing problem for women and I wish I could help you find an answer. All I can say is be yourself, whoever that may be. Ans whether your labeled independent or whatever doesn't matter. I have a full household (boyfirend, 2 kids, and a dog!)I take of all by myself so when I get looks from friends because I dish my boyfirend's plate I think Oh well! I'd like to see them do what I do in one day!!
Mario,
I think because of the ambiguous titles given for women(Ms, Mrs, ect) your almost in a no win situation. No matter which route you take some woman out there will be offended by not being called the right name. I use to work in daycare and one thing I liked about it is that all the children refer to their teachers as Miss and use their first name. In this situation marital status is irrelevant so you can never offend anyone. I use to work in the customer service field too(and will be returning shortly)and one problem I always had was with calling women ma'am. I thought it was respectful and helpful but I had a few women bite my head off for it. They felt ma'am is related to age and that I was insulting that. Go figure. I guess you really never can tell how to safely refer to another woman except maybe to use Miss. It's neutral, it's polite, and it gets the job done!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Week 3
This week didn't contain a eureka moment perse but I do have something on my mind. I just contacted my old employer for a summer job becasue I'm tired of being on unemployment. My old job, although I loved it, was in the center of a "man's world" and really puts me in a position to deal with alot of gender targeted situations. I would be working basically as a customer service rep at a electronic and appliance retailer. The entire showroom has all men salespeople, while the entire customer service staff is female. Being the minority in the building means being called "the girl at the desk" or having people directed to the "girl behind the counter." I was once an office manager for this company and even in that position I was called a "girl" instead of the manager. So it was not uncommon to have to deal with sexism from fellow employees. But worse than that-to me-is the way customers-or really people in general-view a woman in power in these situations. It was my job to handle customer service situations, yet time and time again I would be asked for another manager-who was always a man, and they would come forward only to say the same thing I said and get a satisfied response from the customer. Sometimes I wouldn't even waist my time and I would just skip to the male manager, because I already knew they won't take my word for it. I hated that part of the job. Even other women would do the same thing, and you would think a woman would trust another woman. It also always made the male manager look like the hero becasue he supposedly solved the problem. So while I look forward to getting back into work and doing what I love, I don't look forward to being in a backwards environment. Oh and did I mention that there is not a single woman top manager in this company?? In all my years there I knew more that alot of male managers over me knew. But they make sure women stay in the service relm of things. Hmmmm......
Friday, May 29, 2009
Week 2 comments
Neeru,
I find it very interesting that we don't even realize the implications of these names and labels. I always thought it was flattering or a nice gesture for someone to refer to me as "sweetheart" until I read these chapters and began to realize how demeaning they really are. The really funny part is that I call women "hon" or "sweetie" too. What am I doing to enforce this lower position?? I tried so hard to understand why I do it and obviously it's because it's been done to me. So it was a terrible realization I had to know that I was enforcing things. I guess the thing to do is when ever someone refers to you like that, simply state your name. I think that would be subtle enough to show that you don't want to be called pet names. Good luck!
Professor,
Years ago I worked in a daycare and we had a dress up time where the toddlers could play with clothes brought in by different parents. One little boy, whose mom was single, kept putting on high heel shoes and dresses. Well his mom also happened to work there so when she saw him she came running in and told him not to do that. I felt so bad for the little boy and I wished the mom could see he was only copying the one role model he had. She asked us not to let him do that anymore. Fast forward 10 years later and I have 2 sons of my own (4 and 3). We were shoe shopping over the weekend and my youngest picked out a pair of pink crocs he wanted. My moment of truth- I wanted to let him get them sooooo bad- but I had to tell him no. His father and grandfather would have never let me hear the end of it. He would have been stared at in public and other parents would have asked me why. Why do we do this?? What harm could come of pink shoes?? I realized the power of society at that moment, and I would have much rather have been just a mom.
I find it very interesting that we don't even realize the implications of these names and labels. I always thought it was flattering or a nice gesture for someone to refer to me as "sweetheart" until I read these chapters and began to realize how demeaning they really are. The really funny part is that I call women "hon" or "sweetie" too. What am I doing to enforce this lower position?? I tried so hard to understand why I do it and obviously it's because it's been done to me. So it was a terrible realization I had to know that I was enforcing things. I guess the thing to do is when ever someone refers to you like that, simply state your name. I think that would be subtle enough to show that you don't want to be called pet names. Good luck!
Professor,
Years ago I worked in a daycare and we had a dress up time where the toddlers could play with clothes brought in by different parents. One little boy, whose mom was single, kept putting on high heel shoes and dresses. Well his mom also happened to work there so when she saw him she came running in and told him not to do that. I felt so bad for the little boy and I wished the mom could see he was only copying the one role model he had. She asked us not to let him do that anymore. Fast forward 10 years later and I have 2 sons of my own (4 and 3). We were shoe shopping over the weekend and my youngest picked out a pair of pink crocs he wanted. My moment of truth- I wanted to let him get them sooooo bad- but I had to tell him no. His father and grandfather would have never let me hear the end of it. He would have been stared at in public and other parents would have asked me why. Why do we do this?? What harm could come of pink shoes?? I realized the power of society at that moment, and I would have much rather have been just a mom.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Week 2
This weeks Eureka moment came for me while over viewing the DB question. I realized I live such a sheltered life because half of the mentioned names for insulting sexes used ever come out of my mouth. And I'm fortunate enough to have friends and family that don't refer to each other as "bitch"-as a lot of females who are friends do- or any name rather. I know a lot of people use these words in everyday language and I agree that it is so demeaning. Why-especially women cause when we abuse each other that really upsets me- why do we feel the need the need to degrade each other? Is it for the entertainment of men? Is it because we are so use to men using these words that we can't find anyother words to use? It's just really upsetting to me. Women-lets respect eachother a little bit more and try to refrain from calling eachother names. We're not bitches, and from one women to the next we all know what sort of issues we have that make us a little short tempered, so lets be more sympathetic to that. So to all my ladies in the class, if you call your girlfriends bitch, try to find another word that doesn't bring us down to a lower level. We're better than that!
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